


Not Anymore

by jacquelee



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Episode tag for The Rattening, Gen, Quentin and shades is a fascinating topic, Quentin meets his shade from a different timeline and realizes things about himself, honestly, so I left that ambiguous, there could be dozens of Quentin's shades just chilling in the Underworld, this could be Quentin 23's shade or one from another timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-17 02:04:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20613155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacquelee/pseuds/jacquelee
Summary: While in Persephone's house in the Underworld, Quentin meets someone very familiar.





	Not Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Superheroland](https://superhero-land.livejournal.com/) for the prompt "I don't want to know what it's like to live without you".

While Julia was still talking to her shade, Quentin went into a different room to give the two of them some space. What he hadn't expected was to see someone very familiar. 

Himself. 

He recoiled. This was an even bigger shock than seeing Alice's shade. How? 

For a moment, he just stared at the shade, not knowing what to say. The boy similarly just stared back, not looking angry or sad, just content, if a little curious. Finally, Quentin cleared his throat.

"How are you here?" That was not what he had wanted to say, it was far too blunt, but he needed to know. He lifted his shirt, half expecting to see himself empty like Julia, expecting that somehow, at some point, he had lost his shade even when he didn't feel any different, but his stomach looked exactly like it always did. While that was a relief, it just confused him more. "I still have my shade. Isn't this house only for those shades who got lost?"

The boy nodded solemnly. 

"I did get lost. In another timeline. You made a deal. You didn't want me anymore."

"What? Why would I do that?"

"I don't know."

But even while hearing that answer and seeing his shade shrug, he realized that he knew. 

Because without seeing what being shadeless had done to Julia and Alice, without experiencing this happening to two people he loved, he knew the temptation of not having to have a shade, getting rid of those awful thoughts and feelings that had plagued his entire life would have seemed quite tempting. 

Too tempting. 

He regarded his shade for a moment, tears starting to form in his eyes. Because he realized that right now, in this moment, this was the last thing he wanted. Even if he would be given the opportunity to get rid of his shade, he would not do it. 

Not anymore.

It was a rash decision but he bend down and opened his arms to his shade, who immediately went into them for a hug.

"I won't get rid of you again. I don't want to know what it's like to live without you. Not now. Not ever."


End file.
